


Finding the Guts

by phanicatthekidsarentalright (orphan_account)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009, 2009 Phan, First Kiss, First Meeting, M/M, Manchester, Phan - Freeform, Phan Fluff, Phanfiction, idk i think that's it, manchester eye, ok i'm out of ideas now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/phanicatthekidsarentalright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short fluff based around Dan and Phil’s first meeting in 2009. Kinda generic but hopefully still good!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding the Guts

The air was becoming cooler as the days wore on, and now, on the 19th of October, there was a gentle, calming breeze making the Autumn day feel almost perfect. It felt as if the weather was trying to send me a message, trying to help my shaking nerves by remaining cool, calm and collected as I stumbled onto the train.

The train was a much more commercial, controlled environment, and I felt as though I’d lost the natural feel of the outside environment the moment I stepped foot in the carriage. I gulped, taking a moment to get my bearings, and found my way to my seat.

I hauled my suitcase down the aisle and lifted it up, positioning it securely above the seats. I took a deep breath and sat down in my window seat, trying to act as casual as possible as more people boarded and it dawned closer to 9:10am, the time our train was scheduled to leave.

I bit my lip nervously. This was it. In just over three and a half hours, I’d be with Phil, my best friend, my favourite YouTuber and the man I was hopelessly in love with.

I scolded myself for thinking such things. I hadn’t even met Phil yet, I couldn’t be proclaiming my love for him yet. I figured if my brain kept thinking it, I might accidentally say it, and that was something I didn’t want to risk.

Unfortunately, it was the truth. I was in love with him. I know many people would say that isn’t possible; we’d never physically been in the same location, let alone had we ever kissed or anything. But I was. I was deeply, madly in love with Phil Lester.

I had no way of knowing if he felt the same. Sure, occasionally we’d flirted over Skype or Twitter, but that meant nothing when it came to love and the prospects of a real relationship. Then again, I had tried my best not to express my feelings for him so maybe he’d been trying to do the same. I mentally groaned. Being so afraid creates an endless cycle of hiding that is only resolved when someone finds the guts to be honest for once.

I had guts. At least, I thought I did. It had taken guts to come stay with Phil. My parents had been less than impressed; after all, I was going to stay with someone five years older than me who I had never met. For all they knew, he could be a serial killer who had been cat fishing me this whole time. It took me showing them many of his videos and even letting them talk to him on Skype (what a demeaning experience that had been) before they finally agreed. I decided not to mention that his parents would be out of town.

I considered being bold and telling him how I felt one night, but then I’d chickened out. I made myself promise to tell him once I was actually with him in person. However, the more I thought about it, the more worried I became. What if he didn’t feel the same way and it ruined his opinion of me? I’d be left homeless for the next few days. Assuming he kicked me out, of course. 

I’d managed to scare myself stiff about the entire prospect of meeting Phil by the time I heard the booming voice announcing our arrival at Manchester Piccadilly station. My heart rate increased rapidly as the train pulled to a halt and the other passengers began to stand up and disembark. 

I was terrified. As soon as I got off of this train, there was no going back. I’d have no time left to think over what I was going to do. I’d had three and a half hours of careful contemplation onboard but I had reached no conclusions.

Reluctantly, I followed the crowd and stepped off of the train slowly and nervously, trying to control my shaking. Around me, hugs and cries of reunited families and lovers echoed. Would that be me and Phil soon? Would he hug me? Should I hug him? Were we even close enough for that? I almost laughed. What a stupid thought that had been. I knew for a fact that we were close enough for that and probably much, much more. We’d been talking constantly for months about anything and everything, and we’d grown closer than I’d ever been with anyone else. I could trust Phil with absolutely everything. Of course we were close enough to hug. 

I let my eyes wander around the train station, searching for the familiar mop of black hair that was so iconically Phil. And that was when I saw it.  
Our eyes locked and my heart warmed as I saw a huge grin break across his face. He started walking towards me and I began making my towards him too, not looking where I was going, inadvertently drowning out all of my surroundings and just focusing on him. 

As soon as we met, he threw his arms around me and pulled me into him. I closed my eyes, burying my face in his neck, inhaling his scent for the first time, trying desperately to savour every part of how he looked and felt. He was holding me tighter than I’d been held in a long time, keeping our bodies pressed very close together.

“Dan,” he mumbled against my hair. I smiled at the sound of him saying my name. He began to repeat it, whispering just loud enough for me to hear. “I can’t believe you’re here.” 

He pulled away from me, holding me in front of him by my shoulders and examining me. His eyes looked me up and down, and I bit my lip nervously, a blush rising on my cheeks. He was smiling at me fondly. Without any warning, he pulled me in again for another hug, stroking my hair gently as I buried my face in his shoulder.

I couldn’t help the sting of tears in my eyes which were eventually released. I sobbed gently into his shirt, overwhelmed with happiness. He comfortingly continued holding me, kissing the top of my head gently.

“Shh, Dan, don’t cry!” He murmured. I was smiling like a fool as tears streamed down my face; much like a rainbow, the combination of both sadness and happiness created a beautiful emotion I couldn’t quite describe. I felt a little better seeing Phil’s slightly red eyes when he pulled back once more, a tender hand stroking the side of my face.

Suddenly, he frowned at me. “Those are happy tears, right?” He asked comically, and we both laughed. I nodded, grinning, and swallowed the lump in my throat. 

Phil brought his hand down my side and intertwined it with mine, slowly beginning to lead me out of the station. I couldn’t help but notice the way our hands fit together perfectly as we exited the station, me smiling up at Phil as he babbled on about what we’d be doing for the next few days.

Eventually, once we were comfortably settled in Starbucks, he stopped talking. “Sorry I’ve been talking so much! I’m a little nervous, in case you couldn’t tell. I tend to ramble when I’m nervous. I’ve barely let you get a word in! I’m really sorry, Dan!” 

I couldn’t help myself from laughing. He was adorable. Every word he said just made me fall in love with him more and more. He frowned at me, smiling slightly. “Why are you laughing?” He giggled.

I shook my head and tried to stop. “Y-you’re…you’re really c-cute,” I stuttered, cringing internally. We both showed our nervousness in very different ways; I talked less and he talked more. I guess we complimented each other in that sense.

He blushed and coughed, a little awkwardly. “So…uh,” he cleared his throat, “is there anything in particular you want to do while you’re here? Anywhere you want to go?”

I shook my head and smiled at him. “I’ll go wherever you want,” I said with a little more confidence. He grinned at me. “Alright, then I’m taking you on the Manchester Eye!”

With that, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up, leading me out the door, both of us giggling. “Manchester Eye?” I questioned. “I didn’t think there was one!”

Phil smirked. “Well, it isn’t technically called the Manchester Eye. It’s just a normal ferris wheel. But I think calling it that makes it sound a little more epic, don’t you?” 

He winked at me and I tried not to swoon. 

The ‘Manchester Eye’, as Phil described it, was relatively quiet and we were onboard within minutes. The small pod we were in was cosy and forced us to be quite close, which was a factor I wasn’t complaining about. 

Phil’s hand was still linked with mine. We stood next to each other, looking out over Manchester as we ascended to the top. I felt my heart rate quicken as I saw him look at me out of the corner of my eye. 

My breath hitched as he turned my body towards him, keeping our hands intertwined but moving his free hand to cup my cheek. His eyes glanced down at my lips as if asking for permission, but I couldn’t be bothered giving it.

I reached up on my tiptoes and brought my lips onto his in an almost frantic, rushed movement that he seemed shocked with at first. He soon recovered and thankfully began kissing me back, bringing both his hands to hold my face and pull me closer. I wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling our bodies together and deepening the kiss. I felt him smile and my heart warmed a little. 

Eventually, he pulled away, keeping his body close to mine and pressing his forehead against mine. I could feel the blush that was obviously tainting my cheeks, and he noticed too. He gently leaned in and kissed both of them gently before bringing his lips back onto mine. 

“I’m so glad you did that, Dan,” he smiled down at me after he pulled away once more.

“Me too,” I replied. “It took a lot of guts.”

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh that took me ages! this was my first one-shot so if you enjoyed it please let me know! my tumblr is http://phanicatthekidsarentalright.tumblr.com if you'd like to read more/send me prompts! thank you for reading; all comments & kudos are appreciated!! :)


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